On this week’s episode of “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart‘s ex-correspondent, John Oliver, made a surprise appearance to “gloat” about Donald Trump ushering in America’s “monarchy era” with his unprecedented use of executive authority.
After failing to identify anyone who could stand up to Trump as he runs rampant with executive orders and government cutbacks, Stewart mused, “It’s been a good run, America. It’s looking like we’re becoming less like the constitutional republic we’ve been for 250 years, and more like the monarchy that we all fought to escape from. But I think the important thing–”
Stewart was then cut off by slow, sarcastic clapping echoing from offstage. Oliver then suddenly appeared with a smug look on his face.
“The prodigal son appears to have returned,” Oliver said to resounding applause.
“Hold on,” Stewart said. “Do my eyes deceive me? Is that young John Oliver? Are you here to offer us your wisdom and counsel?”
“Oh, no, no, Jon, I’m here to gloat,” Oliver said. “America had its little fun experimenting with democracy, didn’t you? You fought so hard to get away from [the British Empire], acting up, throwing all that tea into the harbor? You still owe us for that, by the way. Let me be the first to welcome America to its monarchy era. Congratulations!”
Stewart then cut “Ambassador Oliver” off, coming to the defense of the United States. Stewart argued that although “we are having some trouble with democratic governance,” it seems extreme to “abandon our republic and go full empire.”
“Don’t fight being a monarchy, Jon, embrace it! Kings get shit done,” Oliver quipped. “Is it stuff you wanted done? Not necessarily. But they do move quick! They taste cumin at lunch and they’ve taken over an entire continent by dinner time. That is how the British rolled, Jon. Fuck everyone else. They are not like us. In fact, if I may sing a line from Mr. Kendrick Lamar.”
Stewart stopped Oliver before he could begin rapping and once again posed a rebuttal: “Look, no offense, but I’m not sure the imperial model is for us.”
“Have you seen anything America has done over the last 50 years? Because for a country that doesn’t want to be an empire, you’re doing a pretty fucking good impression of one,” Oliver said. “Invasions, economic exploitations, and now, suggesting turning Gaza into a beachfront casino? Even King George would be like, ‘I don’t know, guys! Feels like the situation is a bit more complicated than that. And I’m literally dying of medieval brain disease.’”
Stewart then looked into the camera with a grimace and said, “We really have become our father.”
Watch the entire segment below.
