You wouldn’t necessarily think it from the damage he sustains over the course of “Novocaine,” but Nathan Caine ranks among the most risk-averse action heroes the genre has ever seen. That’s because the junior manager of a San Diego bank has a rare disorder known as congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis (or CIPA). One cut could have life-threatening consequences, if not felt and dealt with quickly enough. So it’s kind of a big deal when normally hyper-cautious “Novocaine” (as the other kids called Nathan at school) goes into berserker mode to rescue his crush from bank robbers.
CIPA is a real thing, affecting fewer than one in 100 million people. Technically, that means screenwriter Lars Jacobson is the insensitive one here, not Nathan. If that bothers you, don’t buy a ticket. If it doesn’t, well, Paramount is doing sneak previews on March 8, a week before the film opens wide. The studio clearly feels confident that people want to see “The Boys” star Jack Quaid get beat up real bad (which, after January’s “Companion,” seems like a safe bet). Sure enough, it’s fun to see him fight past the threshold where most people would tap out.
The conceit of “Novocaine,” which desperately wants to strike the same irreverent tone that made “Deadpool” so popular, is that CIPA could actually be a superpower — which explains the ironic use of R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts” over the opening credits. Just to be clear, Deadpool feels everything, but has healing abilities that allow him to keep going, whereas Nathan is pretty much the opposite. In “Novocaine,” co-directors Dan Berk and Robert Olsen want to know: What if “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble” went all Jason Statham to get the girl?
Nathan has made it to his mid-20s by being careful. He drinks his meals through a straw, so as not to bite his tongue; puts tennis balls on sharp corners to avoid bruising; and sets an alarm to signal regular bathroom breaks, lest his bladder burst. That’s about all the real-world research Jacobson puts into Nathan’s condition, treating him as hopelessly shy after decades of verbal and physical abuse. The poor shut-in spends most of his free time playing violent video games, wherein he can do things that are far too dangerous.
And then comes Sherry (Amber Midthunder), a flirty colleague who invites him out for cherry pie and asks questions like “If you can’t feel pain, does that mean you can’t feel pleasure?” The night after they hook up, three psychos in Santa costumes burst into Nathan’s bank, empty the vault and take Sherry hostage on their way out. Without hesitation, Nathan goes after them. This is where Berk and Olsen demonstrate two things: They’re willing to get ultra-violent — as when one of the robbers, Simon (Ray Nicholson), splatters the bank manager’s brains on Sherry’s face — but they’re not the most intuitive orchestrators of action.
In “Novocaine,” it’s the romance that keeps us going, more than whatever sadistic delight the co-directors take in poking Nathan full of holes, treating him like some kind of Looney Tunes character. That’s the reference they have in mind when Nathan shows up at one of the robbers’ heavily booby-trapped home, taking a crossbow bolt to the thigh and a spiked medieval flail in the back. Any one of these injuries might stop a more typical vigilante, but Nathan keeps right on going, stabbing himself with epinephrine as needed to keep from fainting.
He’s convinced the cops won’t rescue Sherry in time, which is reasonable, since the two officers in pursuit (Betty Gabriel and Matt Walsh) are convinced he’s in on the robbery. But just how far can this premise go? Remember, Nathan isn’t strong, just impervious to pain. Working out must be tricky for someone with CIPA, and Quaid has a tall, lanky quality that suggests a smiley scarecrow — but what a smile, combining the best of parents Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid! He’s the opposite of intimidating, which also goes for his friend Roscoe (Jacob Batalon), who’s better at cracking jokes than having his back.
No wonder Nathan gets creative when facing off against Zeno (Garth Collins), a massive adversary with rhinoceros muscles and fists the size of watermelons. Thinking fast, the kid rubs his fists in broken glass, instantly upgrading his wimpy, untrained knuckles into deadly weapons. It’s such moments that demonstrate a certain amount of ingenuity, as well as just how badly Nathan wants to get the girl — assuming there will be anything left of him when his rampage is through.
Having starred in “Prey,” Midthunder is no stranger to action, but the chemistry between her and Quaid feels manufactured and in some ways unearned. Overall, the “Novocaine” ensemble includes more than a few curious casting choices, though it does feature a novel selling point in that both Quaid and Nicholson are “nepo babies,” or second-generation movie stars. The sight of these two doing their best to inflict maximum damage on one another plays like some kind of brutal initiation ritual, whereby the winner earns the right to a Hollywood career. After everything his character goes through here, it feels like Quaid’s earned it.