How many times can the characters say “cabbages” in a movie before making you want to throw cabbages at the screen? With “Bubble & Squeak,” writer-director Evan Twohy sets out to answer that question — and little else of relevance to contemporary audiences. Not all movies need to serve up profound insights into the human condition, but the ones that don’t should at least be entertaining, and Twohy’s particular strain of absurdism is not just contrived, but deeply unfunny.
Set in a small, unnamed Slavic nation (most of which appears to have been shot in Estonia), “Bubble & Squeak” begins with a silly premise, with the interrogation (by an eccentrically disfigured Steven Yeun) of a newlywed American couple accused of smuggling cabbages into a country where the vegetables are expressly forbidden. The husband and wife are Declan (“Yesterday” star Himesh Patel) and Delores (Sarah Goldberg of “Barry” fame), a couple who exhibit no signs of loving or even really knowing each other.
Nearly every line in the film is delivered in the same flat monotone, although some —namely those spoken by Matt Berry (as Shazbor, the fearsome head of the local customs enforcement) are given a Werner Herzog-esque Germanic accent. “Like hungry rabbits, we will destroy their cabbages,” Shazbor says, or, “like the cat learns the song of the pigeon…” These aren’t Herzog-worthy aphorisms, but they’re in the ballpark.
As the director explained at the film’s festival premiere, Twohy began writing “Bubble & Squeak” in some form at 19 years old (it started with the monologue about “the most disappointing dessert in the world”), and he’s been working on it ever since. The project took him to the Sundance Institute’s Screenwriters Lab and later earned him a coveted spot in competition at the Sundance Film Festival — a place where zeitgeist-defining comedies such as “Juno,” “Napoleon Dynamite” and “Little Miss Sunshine” premiered. This one feels more like Tribeca-caliber streaming fodder.
Back to the “plot”: Sitting in a minimum-security detention room, Declan and Delores make small talk about their honeymoon destination. “During the war, the one thing the people of this country had to eat was cabbages,” Declan tells his wife, whose pants are bulging with mounds the size of whole cabbages (she insists they are “tumors,” but more than 45 minutes will pass before that mystery is solved). Now the country hates the cruciferous veggies, banning them altogether. There in the room, the interrogator threatens them with punishment, then steps out, giving Declan and Delores an opportunity to escape into the neighboring forest — which they do.
Some couples go to Bora Bora on their honeymoons, and some travel to more draconian destinations, where relaxation seems unlikely and silly crimes incur capital punishment. Why would anyone run that risk, you ask? Over the course of a very long hour and a half, Twohy reveals that Declan is an ultra-cautious kind of guy (he wears a watch that counts down how many days he’s expected to live, maximizing that number by playing it safe). But Delores craves adventure, so maybe she was just looking to spice things up. One thing’s for sure: “Bubble & Squeak” would be even less funny if she hadn’t stuffed cabbages in her pants.
By now, you’ve probably realized that Twohy’s movie is not about cabbages. Yes, they’re present in every scene and mentioned in practically every conversation, but his debut aims to say something about how couples work. It’s hard to imagine how Declan and Delores wound up together in the first place, and the characters’ stilted line delivery offers few clues as to their chemistry. We get a clue as to their dynamic — what it’s lacking and the way someone more exciting threatens their young marriage — when an admitted cabbage smuggler named Norman (Dave Franco) appears camouflaged in a brown bear costume.
Delores is instantly drawn to this studly stranger, who claims to have killed the beast with his bare hands. (Meanwhile, Declan tried to defend them with a spork.) Between the risk-loving wilderness man and the cross-country run from Shazbor and his soldiers, can the couple survive this test to their union? And what will become of all that cabbage?
Disappointingly one-note as it can be, “Bubble & Squeak” does at least stand apart from the vast majority of indie comedies. In time, Twohy’s sure to find his voice, but for now, he’s too clearly enamored with Wes Anderson’s. That’s understandable, as Anderson has inspired an entire generation with his eccentric characterizations and ultra-stylized worlds (the lesson, for those who adore the “Rushmore” director, is to find a signature that’s every bit as distinct, but not to imitate).
From Shazbor’s raspberry-colored uniform to a church made entirely of bundled hay, from rigid perpendicular framing to a quirky choir-driven score, Twohy’s stuck in homage mode. No doubt, he’ll figure out the recipe eventually. He should start with less cabbage.
